We recently pondered superheroes and the aging process, thoughts that only lead to madness.
Of course, someone who spends much of his adult life rummaging through old comic books really doesn’t have to worry about sanity, huh?
So let’s see if we can scrape together a coherent post on the topic.
When the Keeper first picked up a comic, Superman and his heroic brethren were essentially immortal. As decades took their toll on ordinary mortals, the Big Two essentially kept their characters on a sliding 10-year scale.
Put simply, it meant that Superman and the other big guns fought crime for approximately 10 years. The length of a character’s publication history had no bearing on his or her fictional universe.
So if Superboy debuted in the ’50s and graduated to “Super-manhood” sometime in the early ’60s, he would hit the height of his career by 1970 - coincidentally the very year we picked up our very first issue of Action Comics.
Not exactly ideal, but workable.
The alternative, aging characters in “real” time, is intriguing but flawed. While the concept is fine in certain newspaper strips - i.e. For Better Or Worse and Gasoline Alley, two comics that cover multiple generations of families - it creates a few problems in super-hero titles.
(As well as “kid” strips like Peanuts. Does anybody really want to read about a 40-year-old Charlie Brown?)
While the idea of different Batmen for different eras is certainly interesting, it’s a bit prohibitive for new readers. People expect Bruce Wayne when they pick up a Batman title.
If a potential reader suddenly found out the book starred Bret Wayne III, he or she would probably throw the comic down in confusion.
(And Dan DiDio’s beliefs aside, there’s a reason why Robin’s secret identity is usually Dick Grayson outside of comic books. Familiarity doesn’t always breed contempt.)
Before the original Crisis obliterated DC’s history, the company actually stumbled upon a third formula that was quite fascinating.
On Earth-1, heroes basically existed in the standard 10-year zone. On Earth-2, however, DC’s Golden Age heroes were allowed to age and - in the case of Batman - even die.
Titles like All-Star Comics and Infinity Inc. explored the concept of heroic legacies. The Earth-2 counterparts of Supergirl and Batgirl - Power Girl and The Huntress - became major characters because they were truly carrying on the tradition of Superman and Batman.
Heck, even the much-maligned Jade achieved a certain stature as one of the most powerful individuals on Earth-2. (She was the Infinitor who usually took on the heavy hitters, like Solomon Grundy.)
After the Crisis wiped the multiverse out, DC tried a hybrid approach that was downright confusing.
The big three - Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman - remained on the eternal 10-year scale. Everyone else, however, gradually aged.
The JSA journeyed to Valhalla to stave off Ragnarok - nice one, Mr. Thomas - and Infinity Inc. instantly found themselves superfluous, just another team of heroes on a world full of super-teams.
Kid Flash took the role of his deceased mentor, Barry Allen. Suddenly he was a young adult in his 20s instead of a teenager, as were his fellow Titans.
(Speedy even had a kid, for crying out loud.)
Hal Jordan sprouted grey hair and went nuts, Green Arrow kicked the bucket and a new generation of heroes rose to take their spots.
Throughout this time, Clark, Bruce and Diana remained in their early 30s.
Crystal clear, right?
Things grew even more complicated after the JSA returned to action. The current set-up has the Golden-Age Flash, Green Lantern and Wildcat training yet another generation of heroes - each in their teens to (maybe) their late 20s.
For Obsidian, Hourman and even Black Canary to fall within that range, though, their parents would have been very active 60-year-olds.
(For the sake of comparison, here’s a personal example. The Keeper’s father fought in World War II and settled down with Mother Keeper in his 40s. The result of that union, your humble host, will turn 45 in March.)
If DC were interested in being accurate, the junior JSA should be the originals’ grandchildren. Unfortunately, no comic-book editor would dare “age” their characters so.
*Sigh*
As for Marvel, they’ve basically stuck to the 10-year scale.
(Although Frank Castle would be over 50 if he truly fought in Vietnam.)
Ironically, the company has quietly adopted DC’s pre-Crisis methodology. While the 616 characters remain frozen in time, the “Ultimate” books boast younger versions of the Marvel heroes.
If you wonder how Peter Parker’s life worked out, just skip over Spider-Man: Reign and go straight to the Amazing Spider-Girl, where Pete is a middle-aged family-man and his daughter, May, carries on the web-slinging tradition.
To be honest, Marvel seems to have the best system. Perhaps DC will return to a similar set-up with their new multiverse, perhaps not.
To be perfectly honest, at this point the Keeper just wants to take two aspirin and stick his head under a pillow.
It’s all just too insane.
