It’s New Year’s Eve and you just know Supergirl is going to party like its 1999.
Yet, Kara 2.0 is not the first Supergirl to prefer fun and frivolity over super heroics.
The original Kara Zor-El - yes, sweet, kind Kara - once chucked it all away for a life of glitz and glamor. She even took Wonder Woman, the greatest super-heroine of all, along for the ride!
Holy Thelma and Louise!!
The sordid tale takes place in Brave and the Bold #63, although no character involved in this issue exhibits much bravery or boldness. But hey, it’s a Supergirl/Wonder Woman team-up and long-suffering Kara fans like yours truly have to take whatever we can get.
Our story begins with Kara saving the Silver Age version of TomKat from certain death, only to be roundly ignored by the surrounding crowd.
Now Supergirl knows how Haylie Duff feels …
Rather than take her frustration out on the crowd (hint: Never ignore a woman who can incinerate you in the blink of an eye), Kara blames herself for being a “way-out character” and decides to abandon the super life.
Guess Superman didn’t do that great a job when it came to bolstering Kara’s self-esteem.
Of course, Superdick Superman tries to talk his cousin out of quitting. But when she turns the table on Kal-El, the legendary hero suddenly finds himself defending his Manhood of Steel.
Unable to keep Kara under his super thumb, Kal-El asks Wonder Woman to talk some sense into his younger cousin.
In the blink of an eye (remember, the term “decompression” only held significance for deep-sea divers in the Silver Age) Diana finds Supergirl in Paris, where the Maid of Might is wowing ‘em on the catwalk.
The Amazing Amazon bursts into Kara’s dressing room to give the former heroine a good talking to, but finds herself distracted by … Supergirl’s pretty clothes.
OK, William Moulton Marston may have been a weirdo but he never - to the Keeper’s knowledge at least - portrayed the heroine as a flighty clothes horse. Was this story written by Bob Haney?
At any rate, things only get worse when a smoothie kisses Wonder Woman and - with little else than his manly magnetism - persuades her to abandon her mission to Man’s World and become a free-wheeling socialite.
And so is born an entire sub-genre of Internet fan-fiction.
Of course there’s more to the story. There’s the remote Ile D’Amour that just happens to be the secret headquarters of a Z-rate villain known as Multi-Face and … well, let’s just say everything works out fine in the end.
So anyway, as our heroines wink their way out of another predicament the Keeper would like to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year.
Don’t do anything out there that Kara and Diana wouldn’t do!
