Back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, a young Fortress Keeper could pick up seven comic books for a little over $1.
With a fairly generous allowance - and a neighborhood newsstand that carried every magazine and comic imaginable - your bedazzled host could happily purchase multiple titles from multiple publishers twice a month.
It didn’t matter if a book was produced by Marvel, DC, Atlas or Charlton. If something looked halfway decent, it usually ended up in the Keeper’s greedy little hands. And hey, if a book or two turned out to be lousy there was always something new to try next month.
These days, the somewhat grown-up Keeper earns a heftier salary but also has less disposable income. With comic books a hefty $2.99 apiece, it’s much more difficult to be cavalier about poor product.
Which brings us to the Fortress’ newly instituted, yet much feared, Two-Issue Rule. Since we’re neither made of money nor own a comix shop, creators have to damn well put out consistently good stuff to earn their keep around here.
Meaning, two bad issues and it’s into the recycling bin. If the Keeper must spend $20-$30 a week on comics, your cash-strapped host must insist upon maximum bang for the buck. We no longer have the time nor the resources for charity cases …
Casualties in recent months include:
- Jonah Hex (a great seven-issue mini-series, it turns out);
- Nightwing (although Marv Wolfman might turn it around);
- Warlord (so bad the Keeper didn’t even make it to the second issue);
- Supergirl (to quote Kara 2.0 herself, “save me” …);
- Green Arrow (Judd Winick will always be that whiny guy on the Real World to us);
- Manhunter (It’s as good as proponents claim, but the Keeper has never been a big fan of morally ambiguous killer vigilantes. Plus, the Goodwin/Simonson Manhunter remains definitive to this old-timer);
- JSA (It became painfully obvious that Paul Levitz’s arc was nothing more than a placeholder until the title is relaunched);
- The entirety of the mainstream Marvel Universe. (We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, the Civil War concept just doesn’t work in a super-hero context. You can’t have ultra-realistic spandex champions without the Miracleman scenario coming into play at some point.)
Happily, the surviving titles - which include the fab new Atom and a tentative return to some Marvel product - offer more than their share of thrills, intrigue and (gasp) actual fun.
A few last notes: the Keeper is reviewing two weeks of books this go-round due to his way-cool sojourn to Seattle. Also, the WordPress spam filter has worked overtime lately shielding the Fortress from a sudden deluge of porn mail. Are such missives your humble host’s reward for uploading a panel from Supergirl #7?
July 12 comics
- Firestorm: The Nuclear Man #27 - Writer Stuart Moore wraps up the OYL stuff to get to the plot he really wanted to pursue. Although the Keeper will miss the Jason/Lorraine team-up, the book is telling better Spider-Man adventures than most of what Marvel pumps out these these days - which is pretty funny, when you think about it.
- Green Lantern #12 - This book has really benefited from the OYL jump, which enabled Geoff Johns to jettison the boring set-up of the first nine issues and simply plunge Hal into worlds of trouble. The Keeper never thought he’d consider the Cyborg Superman an interesting foe, but it looks as if he’ll make a better nemesis for Gl than everyone’s favorite Kryptonian. Plus, the surprise reappearance of an old favorite warmed this old warhorse’s heart.
- Green Lantern Corps #2- C.S.I. in spaaaace, and it’s more fun than one would think.
- JLA: Classified #24 - The Justice League Detroit faces its greatest foe - a forest fire. Good Bronze Age fun and the Keeper is looking forward to the Gypsy spotlight next issue.
- Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #14 - The FF versus the Grandmaster! Johnny Storm thinks his way out of a jam!! The Invisible Woman kicks celestial butt!!! Reed Richards takes a page from Captain Kirk’s playbook!!!! Ben Grimm eats pizza!!!!! This is literally the one your nostalgic Keeper has been waiting for!!!!!!
- The Next #1- The narration isn’t as clever as writer Tad Williams hopes, but the set-up and characters are reminiscent of a good Doctor Who comic. Worth at least another issue …
- Superman #654- Kurt Busiek understands the fundamentals of a good Superman story: Bizarre concepts (giant electrified popcorn!) and a put-upon Clark Kent. The art’s purty too, despite Lois’ bizarre hair-do.
Way-too-late movie review
- Superman Returns - Finally saw the would-be blockbuster this week and enjoyed it immensely. It lacked the spark of Richard Donner’s original, but overall the film was a classy representation of the World’s Greatest Super-hero. Apparently, pirates are more commercial than class these days … *sigh*
July 6 comics
- The All-New Atom # 1 - Ray Palmer or no, this is the best solo Atom story since the Silver Age.
- Conan And The Songs Of The Dead #1 -Lansdale and Truman on arguably the toughest SOB to ever set foot in a comic. Naturally, it rocks harder than Zeppelin.
- Detective Comics #821 - Wow….Batman’s acting like a detective or something! And who’s that guy cruising the Gotham nightlife? Is it…no, can it really be … Bruce Wayne?!? Wow.
- Jonah Hex #9 - Um, what just happened here?
- Marvel Adventures Spider-Man # 17- The exception to what seems like a decade of limp Spider titles. Peter David crafts a loving, old-school tale involving Flash Thompson, the Werewolf By Night and a delightfully snarky Dr. Strange. Wish the art was a little less generic, though.
- Secret Six #2 - Speaking of generic art, the visuals in this book are neither distinctive nor particularly effective in telling the story. Simone’s story remains an enjoyable romp, but she’s done better.
- Supergirl #7 - DC has finally put out a title that surpasses the post-Zero Hour Hawkman in wretchedness. Nice job.
- Teen Titans # 37 - Like his recent Green Lantern work, Johns has cranked up the volume on Teen Titans substantially since Infinite Crisis. His revamp of the Doom Patrol is positively brilliant, and the Keeper is looking forward to seeing more of Martian Girl and the young Zatara. As far as the big soap opera twist, anything to get Tim away from that cloning tank …
Wow, that was one long-winded post. To any reader that made it all the way through, consider yourself officially fortified!
