Bill Mantlo is the antidote to Marvel fatigue.

Sure, his dialogue and narration are a bit over the top - he once kicked off a battle between Spidey and Doctor Octopus with a quote from Lord Byron - but when it comes to inspired lunacy and pure, unadulterated adrenaline nothing beats a Mantlo book.

Case in point: Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #32 - #34 featuring everyone’s friendly, neighborhood web-slinger versus not one, but two lizard men!

Not just any lizard men, mind you, but the Lethal Lizard and the Incredible Iguana! (Which is exactly the way both characters refer to themselves. Talking reptiles apparently have extremely healthy egos…)

The titles were even better: “A Zoo Story,” “Night of the Iguana” and “Lizards on a Hot Tin Roof.”

Hmmm. Do comic book stories even use titles anymore, let alone ones so pun-tastic?

Anyway, the set-up is fairly simple. Peter Parker, now a graduate student after 15 some-odd years in college, takes a job as a teaching assistant to his old friend, Dr. Curt Connors (alias the Lethal Lizard, although the good doctor doesn’t know his aide is secretly Spider-Man, natch).

As is usually the case with the poor devil, things aren’t going well for Connors. He is suffering mysterious black-outs and appears oddly distant.

Could the Lethal Lizard be reasserting itself?

It certainly seems that way, as we soon see Connors is rushing his pet iguana (!) to the House of Darkness (?) at the Bronx Zoo.

Hot in pursuit, our hapless hero soon finds himself in a pitch-black room (because of that whole “House of Darkness” thing…) fighting against a lizard-like creature.

After finally remembering to use that cool Spider-Man spotlight (Does he even use that gadget any more, or did Tony Stark replace it with a DVD player?), Peter is shocked to see an unconscious Curt Connors on the floor.

… Followed by the horrifying image of a 7-foot-tall talking iguana! *Yuck!*

(As a side note, the horror of the Iguana is intensified by the fact that the creature isn’t wearing any clothes. At least The Lizard has the dignity to sport a lab court and Marvel’s standard-issue purple pants…)

It turns out that Doc Connors, still hoping his crackpot theories lead to more than giant lizard-men, was doing the mad-scientist bit after hours.

Although he didn’t transform himself for once, Connors inadvertently mutated an innocent iguana into an all-powerful menace that immediately placed the doctor in a hypnotic trance.

(Umm, can iguanas really do that? Oh well, it’s comics…)

The Incredible Iguana can also hold other lizards in its thrall. Within seconds, Spidey has to contend with an army of slimy reptiles as well as a giant, fighting-mad iguana.

Fortunately, however, the Iguana isn’t really all that incredible. He can be scared away by light, which gives the Web Slinger another opportunity to use his way-cool Spider-Signal. Unless Bruce Wayne suddenly sues for copyright infringement, that is…

The weakened Iguana escapes in the chaos, vowing to take its vengeance on Connors’ helpless family.

(Who really should be getting sick of this by now. They’ve been imperiled since Amazing Spider-Man #6, after all.)

Although Spidey swings off to catch the Iguana, Connors decides the only way to improve the situation is to turn himself into an evil, super-powerful lizard-man! Where did this guy get his PhD? Out of a Crackerjack box?

Soon, Spider-Man finds himself defending Connors’ family against both the Lethal Lizard and the Incredible Iguana! Thanks a heap, Curt!

The resulting battle goes about as well as one would expect, with all three plunging about 50 stories to the ground. Spidey slows his descent with a web parachute while the Lizard maneuvers itself so the Iguana takes the brunt of the impact.

Naturally, both villains escape into the sewer since 50-story drops don’t really hurt anyone.

That’s OK though, because the respite allows Peter to slip back to the lap and whip up a whozit to clean up the whole mess.

Tracking the creatures with his spider sense, Peter uses the whozit to drain the Lizard’s persona out of Connors and feed it into the mutated Iguana.

The result? A big, cool explosion as Connors becomes human again and the evil reptile is blown to smithereens!

Or is it?

While we ponder that terrifying possibility, however, Spidey’s troubles continue. It turns out he absorbed some of the lizard radiation himself, subtly altering his personality over several months until he becomes a hard-nosed crime buster who makes Frank Castle look like Oliver Queen.

Finally, the radiation takes its terrible toll and transforms poor Peter into…

Wait for it….

Spider-Lizard.

Mr. Mantlo, a sincere thank-you from a tired, old comics fan.

You just made the Keeper’s day…